His Breaking Point
by Shadow At Midnight
Summary: Her death pushed him to the brink and he was reluctant to go to her funeral out of fear of breaking. Despite the fear, and uncaring for the consequences, he attends anyway.


**Author's Note:** I shouldn't be starting this, but I had an idea. This is a one-shot. So...enjoy.

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Code Geass. At all. To any extent.

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 **His Breaking Point**

It took every ounce of will that Lelouch could muster to prevent himself from shattering. It took even more strength than he thought he had to keep his despair at bay. To keep his unbridled rage at Rolo in check. Every second he had to push his willpower harder to keep from passing his breaking point. It all went downhill the moment he stepped into the funeral home to see Shirley one last time.

Milly Ashford had known Lelouch for years and could tell from his eyes that he was desperately trying to keep his emotions in check. She hesitated before walking up to him carefully and giving him a concerned look, "Lelouch . . . are you okay?"

Lelouch was not okay. He was the farthest from okay he had ever been. Not even the death of his mother or Euphemia, and the latter had been by his own hand, had made him descend so close to madness. He breathed in and out slowly as his act fell apart more and more as he got closer to Shirley's coffin. "O-of course I am, madame president. I'm just fine. I'm fine. Why don't you go check on Shirley's mother. She needs someone." His clouded eyes glanced over to see the woman sitting down and crying. Milly shook her head and decided to stick by him as they neared the coffin. Lelouch contemplated running, but he wanted to see her. He needed to see her.

The time had come and he reached Shirley's side as his face trembled and the tears began to fall again. They fell like they did when he held her as she died. He reached out and touched her cold cheek with far more care than Milly had ever seen from him. He bowed his head, "She told me she loved me. Before . . . she died. As she laid there on the floor in her blood," he admitted in a rough voice to Milly.

"You were there?! D-did you love her back, Lelouch?" She could see his facade break in that moment and form into an endless sea hatred and loneliness. Seeing her friend so broken hurt her so much.

He turned toward her as his eyes blazed in frustration. "Of course I loved her, Milly," he whispered intensely. "I...I just could never possibly tell her that," his voice shook as it slowly rose in volume, "I didn't even get the chance to tell her in the end. It was never safe for her. I could have been discovered at anytime. Hell I HAVE been discovered! I would have been forced to break her heart sooner rather than later."

Milly's eyes widened, "What do you mean you've been discovered Lelouch! Your family found you?!" She stiffened as she remembered where they were, "No use in discussing this here. We're in public-"

"I don't care," the fire in his eyes blazed even stronger as he looked at her and gave her a broken smile. "I can't get rid of these feelings. These feelings of guilt and regret. I'm drowning in my secrets, my worries, and . . . EVERYTHING." He sank onto his knees letting out a broken sigh. "Do you know how close I was to not coming here Milly? I almost didn't come for the sheer reason I knew I probably couldn't handle it. I've already lost so much, but it seems fate decided to remind me that I still haven't lost everything."

"Lelouch . . ." her eyes softened as she looked at him.

Rolo seemed shocked at how Lelouch was acting and, though unsure, approached him, "Come on brother." He helped Lelouch stand up, "Lets go home. Besides this girl was going to hurt you. She isn't worth-" The boy clearly wasn't thinking straight or he wouldn't have tried to say what he did. So he was shocked to find Lelouch knocking him down to stop him from speaking.

"Don't you tell me she isn't worth it Rolo! Shirley was . . . I never deserved someone like her. I am the one who isn't worth it!" Lelouch felt his rage return and tried to control himself, "Tell me something Rolo. Why did you do it? I knew Shirley well and at the end she made it clear she was not at the mall to shoot me. Why did you do it?! You will tell me the truth! Whether you want to or not!"

Milly paled at the implications, "What are you talking about, Lelouch? Why were you at the mall anyway? Why would Shirley have been there to shoot you?! The military were there too for some reason . . ."

Lelouch stood above Rolo, who was still on the floor, and ignored Milly's questions as he looked at the boy with a frigid glare, "Wh-what. You told me I did a good job big brother. Why are you so angry?" The boy seemed so lost in his delusion he truly didn't understand what Lelouch was going on about.

"A good job? A GOOD job?!" Lelouch let out a bark of harsh laughter, "That was a lie Rolo. Perhaps the most damned convincing lie I've ever told. I suppose it helps that you are delusional. I want the truth from you Rolo." Lelouch narrowed his cold eyes at the boy before skillfully taking out the contact from his eye. His Geass glowed as he looked at his little brother and dropped the bomb. " Now . . . I order you to tell me why you killed Shirley!"

Everything suddenly went silent around them and Rivalz tried to intervene, "But Lelouch . . . Shirley shot herself."

Rolo's eyes widened, "You would use your Geass on me," he was in too much shock at the thought Lelouch would would it on him to look away. So he couldn't do anything before the power overtook his will. He tried resisting, but relaxed after several moments. Rolo kneeled before him and looked up at him, "As you wish your Your Highness!" Red rimmed around his eyes, "She wanted to help protect you, but that's MY job. She wanted to join you. Even though her memories returned, she realized she loved you too much to let what you've done get in the way. She could have lived...if she didn't mention Nunnally." Rolo gritted his teeth in clear jealousy. "She wanted to reunite you two. I'm your brother! I'm the only one who matters! SHE DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE!" Rolo laughed rather insanely under the geass and his expression unsettling, "So naturally Shirley had to die! It was easy to do. All it took was a pull of the trigger!"

Milly stilled as she looked at Rolo in horror as did many of those present. Shirley's mother was clearly furious as what the boy set in. Her mood could be seen shifting back and forth across her face. "I see," Lelouch turned to Milly as he put the contact back in to block his Geass. "I apologize for the inconvenience Madame President. I'm going to have to leave Ashford." He gave her a pained smile, "I also must apologize for doing what I'm about to do. At least in front of you all. Unfortunately with Rolo still as indisposed as he is this is my best chance. He will run as soon as he regains himself. I can't let him escape."

He turned back towards the boy, "Rolo. I had plans for you, but someone like you just can't be allowed to continue living. I despise you and I despise the machinations of my father that you represent. I don't need a fake brother. I just need my sister." He smirked cruelly as Rolo regained awareness and he pulled out a gun from his shirt. "This is goodbye Rolo." Without hesitation he fired before Rolo could do more than let out a gasp. He couldn't be allowed to activate his geass and avoid his fate. Unnecessary, but, for mostly therapeutic reasons, he smirked and fired the remaining bullets in the clip into the cooling corpse that was once Rolo Lamperouge. He heaved a sigh of relief and relaxed before putting the gun away. "You have been avenged Shirley." He looked at her body in the coffin one last time before turning away.

"With this I cast off the name Lelouch Lamperouge just as I cast off the name Lelouch vi Britannia years ago," Lelouch spat on Rolo's corpse. "Until such a time that my friends are out of danger I will only be known by one name." He walked through the crowd without a care and feeling more free than he has in a long time. "I hope I can return to Ashford one day, but for now . . . Lelouch is dead. Zero lives on in his place." A cold smirk graced his face as he left without another word.

Many had thrown up seeing a boy being shot and those who hadn't looked near enough to it. They could only stare at the man who did killed the boy in cold blood as he left. His deed, his confession of who he was, and the confession of the victim was hard to come to grips with. So they just watched him calmly leave.

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Milly and Rivalz spent some time together after the viewing and took in the recent events. They both tried not to think much about Rolo's fate even though on inside rage was building. The idea that the assumed innocent-looking boy killed Shirley and made it look like suicide burned within them. Rivalz looked outside, "So Lelouch is Zero . . . and royalty."

Milly bit her lip and nodded, "I didn't know about him being Zero of course, but . . . my family is who sheltered him for so long. I've known since I was a child about his heritage. Even before he was sent to Japan. My real question is that he called Rolo his fake brother and referred to someone called Nunnally as his full-blooded sister. I can only assume he meant the Viceroy, but...why do our memories tell us different? How did he force Rolo to admit what he did? Rolo mentioned something called Geass. There is something not right going on, but I think that it is something well above anything we should get into. Even I know when to toe the line and when to not snoop. This is definitely the latter of the two. Doing so would be too dangerous."

Rivalz smiled teasingly as he tried to lighten up the mood, " _You_ of all people aren't going to snoop? The idea must be annoy you to no end." He got a punch in the arm for his troubles.

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 **Author's Note 2:** Alright. Glad I rewrote this before posting it. Turned out much better. Hope you enjoy this one-shot. I think Lelouch feels a lot better now.


End file.
